Summary text here.
A friend of mine in high school had an eighty-something Nissan 300ZX that spoke to its occupants. If the door was open, a female voice would chime in and say, "door ajar." It said other stuff too, but I can't really recall what else. The lady may as well have said, "You're a wanker for buying a car that talks to you." Even then, I remember thinking what a gimmick it was. It's the type of thing that probably seemed really advanced and futuristic in the 60s, but thankfully most car companies realized it was just bash-your-head-into-the-steering-wheel annoying. Apparently, someone over at Mini thinks the time is right to revive the idea, because the new Mission Control option, which comes standard with the Camden package, takes the concept to new levels of stupidity. It even laughs at its own jokes.
The Mission control system consists of not one, not two, but three different voices representing different systems in the car. The ring leader seems to be Engine. He says stuff like, "happiness is driving a Mini," and "this if fuuuulllllll throttle," when you floor it. He quotes Tom Petty too. There's also Coach, she seems to be a sort of overall monitor of systems. If the parking brake is up, she'll say, "If you love the hand break, then you have to set it free. Ha ha ha ha." Then there's Climate, and as you probably guessed, he talks about the climate control system. He'll also remind you to fasten your seat belt.
This car doesn't just talks to you when something is amiss like my friend's 300zx, it rambles incessantly about utter nonsense. In the interest of the sanity of the owners, I hope there's a mute button. Watch the video to see and hear for yourself.
-Jamie Wolfcale
[Car and Driver via Autoblog]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmX6Ns-we3M&feature=player_embedded]